As the end of the year comes to a close, a few major questions pop up in this writer’s mind. Why are there so many damned scorpions in Chandler, Arizona? Why am I not a millionaire? Where did my chicken fried steak go? How did I gain all of this weight?
Nobody, not even I, should even remotely care about any of that, but hopefully you’ll enjoy this little list of my ten favorite nerdy things about 2011.
1. Razer Products
Razer makes computer peripherals “for gamers, by gamers”. They have a vast array of items to pick from. Everything from keyboards and mice to gaming headphones and beyond. They all have a pretty sleek style that takes the feel of your average computer gear and turns the knob up to 11. Although a bit pricey, their products are of a certain level of quality that justifies the price tag. Check their stuff out at their website.
2. Star Wars: The Old Republic
After a wait of half a decade for Bioware to finish this game, gamers have finally been delivered another remarkable experience from the makers of Knights of the Old Republic, the Mass Effect series, and Dragon Age. You can read all about it here. It’s been nice knowing the lot of you. I’m going to say goodbye to my social life now.
3. Batman: Arkham City
Rocksteady Games’ follow up to what may potentially be the best action game in the past decade arrived to us late this year. Become The Goddamn Batman. One of the best games to come out this year. If you enjoy punching bad guys in the face and then disappearing into the cold, dark night(ehehe), get out there and buy it. Then scowl out with your cowl out.
4. Android phones
After a long period of trying out iPhones and being completely, woefully unimpressed, I ponied up some cash and bought an Android phone. I can’t ever go back to a regular cell phone. Between all the apps on the market, the smooth interface, and google’s free…everything… these phones rule. Also, props to George Lucas for letting Motorola use the name “Droid” so he could further funnel cash into his pockets. The man is a genius.
5. Fantasy Football
If you don’t think this is nerdy (it is), you’re probably drinking a Natty Ice right now with your favorite bros in a deep cave of denial. Make sure you ice your best bro and then do a Tebow. Fantasy football allows you to ruin every close friendship you have, make spreadsheets, and root against your favorite football team so you can collect largely useless points and, in my case, lose all but three matchups and spend every Sunday crying yourself to sleep.
6. Karaoke
There’s nothing like throwing back a bottle of beer, pulling a comb through your coal black hair, and starting a zoot suit riot. Karaoke allows you to feel like a rock god for several drunken hours at a time. Although, be forewarned: If you sing Friends in Low Places by Garth Brooks in front of me, I will publicly and vocally insult you and then stab you in the fucking heart.
7. Dinosaurs
Dinosaurs have been awesome since I can remember. With the extremely disappointing showing of Telltale Games’ Jurassic Park, I was overjoyed to hear of the real Jurassic Park they’re creating with animatronics in New Jersey. Though I wonder why in the world they decided to host the park in the worst state in the US for everything but landfills.
8. Newegg
Whether you’re buying parts for your own homebrew computer at discounted prices with free shipping, a new XBox 360, or a diamond necklace for your super kawaii anime real doll (you sick fuck), Newegg is the place to do it. Don’t bother with places like iBuypower or Alienware. If you can put a Lego kit together, you can build your own desktop PC for a third of the price on Newegg. Just make sure nobody finds your tentacle rape Hentai once it’s set up.
9. Game of Thrones
George R.R. Martin’s Game of Thrones has more nudity, gore, murder, and political intrigue packed into a single season on HBO than every show on television in the past five years combined. I am a pretty bad nerd when it comes to fantasy. I hate it. Absolutely hate it. Game of Thrones changed my mind about it though, and now I find myself sleepless late at night, hovering over the “purchase” button for a replica of Eddard Stark’s sword. If you feel the same way about Lord of the Rings that Randal does in Clerks II, check this show out. You won’t regret it.
10. Sushi
If you had told me even three years ago that I’d be a huge sushi fanatic and would probably spend the last 30 dollars in my bank account for one meal made up of raw fish, I’d have told you to go deepthroat a telephone pole. Now that I have a more refined palate, sushi is king. It’ll never replace the Philly Cheese Steak in my heart (no really, my heart has a thick layer of gunk built up along its walls from all those delicious steaks) as my favorite food, but I really learned to appreciate it this year. Irrashaimase!
The Winners:
Movie: Warrior
Video Game: Star Wars: The Old Republic
TV Show: Game of Thrones
Album: In Bocca Al Lupo, Murder By Death (2007)
The Losers:
Movie: Twilight Breaking Dawn Part Whatever (haven’t seen it, loses by default)
Video Game: Jurassic Park
TV Show: Two Broke Girls
Album: Anything that Justin Bieber has created ever. Ever.
It’s been a good year to be a nerd. With everything going on across the globe politically, it’s good to have great things to distract us all from the macabre of war and poverty. I’m sure that the variety of games shown at the VGAs and the ever-present cavalcade of great movies will make 2012 even better than 2011.
Batman: Arkham City game of thrones old republic